I’ve thought for awhile now. Yes yes, you can make the joke “Ha! Glad you started!” but I’m attempting to be serious. I’ve decided, for now, to stop going to choir, and to cease going to church. I feel as though it’s better until I can figure things out. I’ve heard from a few people to just make my own religion – if I believe in a higher power, then I should pray to Him, etc. But, that doesn’t work for me. I need a structured religion and guidelines to follow. I can’t just make up my own God and hope I go to Heaven. Oh no, that’s pretty much being a ‘neo-christian’ or a ‘cafeteria catholic’ as we called them. Take what you want of the religion, and leave the rest. That’s not how religion works. That’s a belief, not a structured system. I need structure and community. I also don’t want to be a religion shopper. That’s when you go from one religion to the next, hopping around, being a strong follower of each one. I may find that I want to stick with Christianity (except for the whole Jesus is just a guy and not the son of God). I’m not really cool with that part. A lot of it makes sense, but not that.

And, well… it just seems too easy. It should be a bit of work to get into Heaven, not just a “Jesus is in my heart” and that’s it. There’s also the living the word thing. I know plenty of people who worship, but once they leave church, you can’t tell they’re religious or that they


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