Stephen Colbert is a hero (and should be president). He keeps the college students in check, and protects us from many things, like Absinthe.
Now, I’ve had the real stuff, and it’s good. Mmm. But, here is his pledge:
” I (insert name here) do hereby pledge to practice absinth-tinence by remaining absinth-tinent from absinthe… since absinthe incidents in many instances induce incipient synesthetic inspiration and sinister synthetic insistence on sin, I sincerely insist I will be absent from instances of absinthe ingestion this instant” THANK YOU (insert name here).