I’m rather disconnected from the rest of the Corvallis population. Yes, I still have the internet and my phone, but I really don’t go out – ever. Sometimes I go see other people, like Nate (angry Scotsman), Brendon (abused grad student), or Jason (ex-boyfriend), but on the whole, I don’t go out. I used to go to those parties every few weeks, but that has ended because I’m not well enough to go drink with a bunch of disease-ridden people… ok, that’s where Ashley, RJ, me, and countless other people picked up some evil super-bug a few months ago. Probably not the best idea to go out since I’m STILL sick. Thanks, work, for letting sick people work, disease my office, and then I subsequently get sick during the ONE FUCKING DAY I work a week, which prevents me from working all this week. I hate you, internet service provider. You have no idea how to run a business, and we’re falling through, and you suck for getting me sick. You put my chemo off for another week, which means I’m super behind, and I hate you. And did I mention I feel like shite?
I see Sean on a regular basis because of the proximity to his house (we really are around the corner from each other), and he makes the effort to check on me and see how I’m doing. No other person really does that. Ashley tries, I know, but she has a social life outside of seeing her cantankerous sister. People have mentioned coming over and saying hi, but do you really think I want a bunch of people in my house, late at night, watching movies? Half the time I just want to go to sleep, and I don’t want to entertain. But, I do want to see people. See my problem? Seeing anyone requires me to leave my house – my haven – where no one points at me or asks me point-blank about my cancer. And I have no more eyebrows. Goddammit, chemo, give me eyebrows. I feel like an effing freak.
I skipped mass last weekend. Oops. I really wasn’t up to going, to be honest. I’ll go tonight at five just so I don’t have to go tomorrow. Seems like the best idea to me.
Anyone have an idea of how I should clean my cat’s box? I’m not even supposed to be around it, let alone touching it. Mum recommended I call the cat sitter and ask her to come once or twice a week to clean it. I may do that, and just pay her every week (it’s $12 a visit). Life is so effing complicated.