So, my official position at work has been closed.  No, I’ve not been fired!!  I kind of came up with a temporary solution with one of my bosses to be on call for the summer, and he was okay with that.  I think my other boss, a woman, was the one who wasn’t okay with it – she doesn’t like me very much, as far as I can tell.  I don’t know why, either.  It just boggles the mind sometimes.  I’m nice to everyone!  I don’t hate people (well, not really, I get frustrated like everyone else), and I’m kind, and I go way out of my way to help others out… oh well some people just don’t like me, and that’s that.

But, their boss, my favorite person there methinks, told me (in kind words), to take the summer off, they’d replace me at work, and I’d be rehired in September or October – whenever I’m ready to come back.  That’s a load off my shoulders.  I’m not very thrilled that I’ve been summarily dismissed, but what can I do?  They don’t make allowances for part time people, and they can’t break the rules for me.  It’s nice to know I won’t be called at weird hours of the day and night, though.  I’m really going to miss everyone there.  Well, I probably won’t miss one person, but everyone else I’ll miss.  I should ask if I could keep my binder and stuff there since I’m coming back.

Lets see, I’ve not written in awhile.  I started radioimmunitherapy on top of my chemo, and don’t ask me what it is, since I’m not terribly sure myself.  I’m not as ill as I was – I’ve lost all appetite entirely, which is bad because of the whole diabetes thing, but I don’t feel like I’m going to puke my brains out.  I’m just tired… so, so tired.  Oh, no more internal bleeding either!  Hooray!  What else… the neupogen makes my hips hurt like no ones business, but the steady stream of painkillers has made it manageable.  I no longer cry myself to sleep.  Sean still holds my hand until I drop off, which is a welcome distraction, but I don’t need it as much as I did.  I cry for other things, now.  A friend from school passed away last week, so I’ve been pretty devastated by the news.  Her funeral is today, but there’s no way I could go to it (way too far away).  Most of my friends have left Corvallis for the summer, so I feel a bit forgotten.  Now that I’m not working either, I have nothing to fill my time with.  I thought about helping out at St. Mary’s Vacation Bible School (hooray?) but I don’t really want to.  I’m playing piano at a few weddings this summer, and I’m singing in the choir every weekend at 9 still.  People tell me to, “focus on getting better”.  Bla bla bla.  I have an IQ of 163.  I can’t just sit here and twiddle my thumbs.  I’ve pulled out my GRE Physics test books and have begun to painstakingly go over each one.  I may go over old physics classwork and relearn a lot of things I’ve forgotten.  Or I could get out my Thermal Physics book and teach myself some new stuff.

I’m bored.  I have cancer, and a puppy (oh, Sir Digby is adorable! Look at pictures on Facebook), and nothing else to do.  Phooey.


One thought on “Better

  1. I have an IQ of 165 and work a shit industry job that utilizes none of my intellectual powers. Recess into your thoughts and explore ideas. Be imaginative and explore creativity. It is there, even if you don’t think you have it. You just need to tap the best medium to utilize your creativity. Also, do your Religion homework. The Catholic faith is a very intellectual one and can be dwelled upon for hours.

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