Apparently I am a rather unlucky person. My onc told me after my PET scan that things were less than jolly, and that he wanted to start chemo again. He didn’t say I was no longer in remission, nor did he say the other ‘r’ word (relapse), but I think he didn’t want to hurt my feelings.

People tell me to take charge of my disease, to learn everything I can. Well, I didn’t last time I had it, so why should I this time around? I don’t give a flying f what kind of chemo I’m going to get, or what my schedule will be. I’ll show up and trust them to do the job they’re paid for. Of course, I will do the least amount of what is expected for me, as will my onc. He is NOT allowed to try and snipe the crap out of my cancer. If he gives me a lower amount of chemo or whatever for a longer time, I’d rather have that than be strapped to a hospital bed for a shorter amount of time.

I mean, we still haven’t come up with a schedule yet. Who knows. Maybe I can get a second opinion.

Fuck my life.


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