Bleh…stupid homework.

So, I’ve had a week to get my math homework completed, and like a normal student, I kind of left it to the last minute.  Unfortunately, it has elements I have no idea how to do.  I think like a physicist; usually I have to have a concrete problem I can think of and work on, while not worrying about minute details like proofs.  This homework is so abstract that it’s difficult to wrap my mind around.  I know how to do linear algebra, but the idea of breaking up small matrices into even smaller ones to do simple matrix multiplication astounds me.  WHY on earth would you want to do that?  This book not only presents the information in a mostly abstract way, but it definitely caters to math majors, and not to engineers/physicists.

Maybe I could just rebel and not do it?  I may just drop it in her box late, but complete.  I’d probably get a higher grade if I turned it in before 5 pm with all the problems done rather than on time with half the problems completed.  Grrr I hate math majors.  *smacks forehead with palm*

So yeah, it’s 6 am. I’ve not slept yet, but I did have a few hours nap after dinner tonight.  Sean played video games while I slept with my feet in his lap.  I didn’t feel well all day today – chemo/radiation is definitely catching up with me, not to mention the cold I’m starting to get.  At least I got my grocery shopping done, or we really wouldn’t have had any food at all.  The fridge was empty save for some condiments (LOTS of condiments…), old salad fixings, and a half-gallon of skim milk.  I’ve been eating cereal for the past few days, with a Jamba Juice and KFC thrown in there. (mmm KFC… I hadn’t had that in forever, and it was so tasty).  I’m starting to gain my weight back after I finished chemo a few months ago.  I wonder if my current chemo is going to stop my appetite again.  I know I want to start working out (maybe using my Wii Fit, or fencing).  I’ve been trying to coerce Sean into fencing again… I really miss it.  But, he’s so much better than me that it’s definitely a one-sided competition.

This is definitely a feeble attempt at procrastination.  Better get back to the grind before radiation.


Ugh, my worst nightmare

I have a disease where I have to take several medications that do terrible, terrible things to your body. No, I don’t have cancer. At the moment, I’m taking 40mg prednisone (and a few others I don’t want to get into). The combination of drugs are making my white blood cell count drop through the floor, and my doctor doesn’t really know why. But, here’s what happened yesterday:

“Ugh, Ashley, I don’t feel well.”
“You didn’t feel well two days ago too.”
“But I have a low-grade fever now.”
“Well, shit, that’s not good.” (I don’t remember if she swore, but I think it’s funny when she does, so in my mind’s eye, that’s what she did.)

I went to the doctor today around 9:30, and they took me right away. They stuck an IV in me when I got there, and they took blood to do ‘another’ count and probably fill a whirlpool (with the amount they took, I wouldn’t be surprised). They did a cbc last friday, like every friday,, and then put me on an IV drip concoction of antibiotics and vitamins and such. I feel waterlogged, light headed, generally ill, and so, so tired.  The chairs are neat though: they’re like plush dental chairs, and I watched tv and slept (mostly watched tv…).

I’ve been given the order to stay away from anyone with even the sniffles, sleep a lot, drink lots of water, shower completely once a day (I usually wash my hair every other day), and stay unstressed. If I begin to feel worse *at all*, then I have to go back. To lighten things up, he even had the gall to tell me that sex raises your white blood cell count, and I just blushed furiously.

My doctor is the coolest 🙂

So, I feel a bit better after sleeping, but I need to be careful. I can’t even peel my own fruit. Have to clean the kittybox tonight… somehow… so I’ll figure it out. Definitely need a mask and gloves at least. I’m going to go have a bath. When I was sick when I was a kid, mom took care of me without me really having to think of anything, so now that I live on my own, I’m at a loss of what I should do. Any suggestions?