Springtime!

I’m not reliable when it comes to updating my blog. I received a comment last night on one of my posts, which made me come back and notice that I had a blog in the first place. Aren’t blogs soooo 2008? Anyhoo, here’s an update of what’s been going on:

1) I’m still in school. Wanna fight about it?
2) Summer is almost here, and I am thrilled. I’m not going anywhere this year – I’m doing a very in-depth chem course on campus. In-state tuition is something I’d like to take advantage of.
3) No, I’m still not a resident of Oregon, despite living here since 2004, not going to school for 1 1/2 years, and doing everything a resident does: pay income tax, property tax, own a car, vote, participate in outside of school type things… grrr.
4) I still haven’t had a relapse. Whoooo for that! I have maintenance drugs and check-ups every six months now, and that makes me feel good.
5) My hair is almost to my shoulders. For someone who was bald for 2+ years, I’m happy to have long hair again. It’s getting there!
6) My brother graduated from the French Culinary Institute and is now a badass fancy cook at a place called Lyfe, in Palo Alto, CA. They work him to the bone, but he’s getting good experience.
7) I fell down a volcano at field camp last summer. Yeah, only I could fall down a cinder cone. It was slippery and I was trying to get downhill like all the other people. Unfortunately it didn’t go quite as planned.
8) I’ve been doing well with the violin and now play with Pro Musica, a string orchestra in Corvallis, OR. I also play Violin II for the Willamette Valley Symphony (where I played oboe before I switched due to inter-section BS politics). My new teacher challenges me at a higher level than I though I could achieve, and I’ve improved dramatically over the last year or so.
— Recently, I hurt my elbow from over-use, so I’m taking a week to two week break to let it heal. I was an idiot to rush back into playing sousaphone after my shoulder surgery, so I’ve learned my lesson. It just took…11 years. I never said I learned quickly. (Actually, I typically learn very quickly, but I like to ignore past experiences as flukes, and just wing it.)
9) I’ve started to edit other peoples’ stories again (for experience!) on FictionPress.com and FanFiction.net. I recommend Fiction Press if you want to read unique stories by regular people. FanFiction.net is the powerhouse of fan fiction archives. They have everything! Want some smutty Dumbledore-on-Hagrid action? They have it. Twincest? Yep. Weird Naruto / Pride and Prejudice cross fiction? Uh huh. It’s a bad habit. (note: not all stories on FF are sexual and weird – many are VERY long tales of love, action, horror, misunderstandings, and mystery using pre-established characters and worlds. FanFiction is a fun way to dip your toe into writing without having to invent your own settings and characters.)
10) I just wanted a round number for my list. Oh! I got a new cat! His name is Stupid, and he’s a Siamese-mix. We used to take care of him when he was a kitten, then my neighbor moved to Washington and couldn’t take him with her. So we acquired him, and I love him to death.

That’s about it. Back to work! 😀

Another year

School’s started once again, and I’m proud to say I’m finally back full time, and busy as ever. Apparently life doesn’t stop for cancer, which isn’t really fair. Most of my friends… all of my friends… have graduated. I made a few new friends in Geology, and it’s nice to hang out with them between classes. Unfortunately, I’m at school on Tuesday and Thursdays from 8 am to 9 pm, with a few hours break in the middle of that mess. I’ve actually got to be at school by 7:45 this morning, and it’s 2 am now. I just can’t sleep (which is weird). I was hoping to get 8 hours of sleep tonight, but that’s not going to happen, obviously. I guess teaching at 8 am is going to force me to go to mineralogy every morning.

I also joined the kendo club on campus. There are 7 other new members, which is great! A girl named Devynn is usually paired with me, since we’re the same height. It’s easiest to spar with someone your own size. The work outs exhaust me, but it’s a good kind of exhaustion! I’m really enjoying myself so far.

On the cancer front, I still have maintenance chemo, and there’s no cancer so far. I’ve gained most of my weight back, which I hate the most. Of course, I was supposed to. I just didn’t want to. It’s not fair 😦

I’ll try to keep this updated more as the quarter goes on!

Scholarly Frustrations

Cancer is a real party-killer. Here I am, in the prime of my life, trying to enjoy myself at college and *graduate* in the next twenty years. But, despite what I try to do and accomplish, chemo and/or side-effects ruin my day. I have a midterm on Thursday, and I was too sick to go to class last week (thanks a bunch, chemo). We didn’t have class on Tuesday because our professors were at a conference in Portland, and then we’re expected to show up on Thursday morning, ready for a midterm!? Are you f-ing kidding me? If it were mapping or hydrology, I’d be fine. But it’s that stupid mineralogy class that is going to end up killing me in the end.

I really can’t afford to get shitty grades. Because I was so sick before they discovered it was cancer (DAMMIT I hate cancer so much), I missed week after week of school for one reason or another. I think my GPA dropped well below a 3.0, and now I’m doing all I can to stay afloat. Of course, it doesn’t help that I’m a physicist and incredibly lazy. Those two things do not go hand-in-hand.

I try to register for classes and keep on top of it, like what I was going to do with this quarter, but I just can’t. I was so upset tonight that it kept me from really sleeping that much. I’m having to teach four classes this week because one of the other TAs is gone (looking at a grad school for his PhD, since OSU isn’t good enough for that apparently), so I had to pick up the slack. I found out that I have to proctor an exam tomorrow night too, so there goes four hours of studying.

I’m not going to make it. I really don’t know what to do, and in order to keep my head above water and get me going to classes again, I stopped my low-dose chemo on my own. (PLEASE don’t yell at me, I’ve already been yelled at, thanks. I know what a retard I am, I get it.) But, at least I can function for the time being. It really isn’t doing much good for me, but dammit if I’m going to take another whole year off. Fuck that noise.

There really is nothing good to report. I finally got to sleep around 4:15 this morning, and then a thunderstorm woke me up not more than 20 minutes later. So, I’ve been up ever since. This is just NOT my day. I’m tempted to email my professor in mineralogy and tell him I just can’t take the exam on Thursday because I’m so behind. But then I’ll even be more behind. What’s a girl to do?!

I know other young adults with cancer and trying to go to school at the same time have had my problems. But I really don’t know what to do at this point! Should I just take an incomplete, and then wing it for the rest of the quarter? I’ll be damned if I’m held back for another year.

Bored in Geo

Have you eer been bored to tears? It’s not a secret that I’m good at maths, and very, very good at mathematical applications. (duh, I’m a physicist). So, I can easily do rather hard problems in my head. You want me to take the curl of that magnetic field? No problem.

In geology, he introduced vectors to the class. OMFG am I surrounded by retards. Not only did their vectors make no sense, but vector addition is no where near correct. I’m loath to correct the professor. The question was, “In which direction is the Pacific Plate moving, and what kind of fault is the San Andreas?”

I cheated a bit. My parents and I live on TOP of the fault, so of course I know. “Right-lateral strike-slip,” I piped up.
“How do you know that?”
“I live there. Like, right there.”
“Well, how would you determine it without living there?”
“Vector addition and common sense,” I monotoned.

Yeah, that was hard for the rest of the class. The resident brown-noser was wrong every single time. I miss my physics friends – seriously.