Ow ow ow

So, remember when I said I was sick, and had an infection? It spread to my bladder and kidneys, and I’ve been pissing blood and “protein” for a week. Not only that, but the medication they have me on is making me ill. I’m on one giant antibiotic, some souped up OTC drug that makes my pee goldenrod in color, and Percocet for the massive amounts of pain. So, I’m still in pain, but I’m high, and slightly narcoleptic. I’ve just been falling asleep at random points of the day and night. My eyes started to bleed, and my eye sockets are bruised. So, I look like I was assaulted. Of course, all of my hair had to fall out (again) this week, so I’ve been shedding in both the bath and shower. I’ve been in and out of Samaritan, been to SHS, and I’m just tired of being ill. Seriously. I just want to feel the normal level of crap that I usually feel. This is a whole new level that I DON’T WANT. There’s no upside to this at all. I’ve not been sleeping, and I hurt everywhere, and I pee every 5 minutes, and THAT hurts. Goddammit.

I’m going to go lay down and be cranky.  Or I’m going to go pee again.  Haven’t decided yet.

A bit better

My UTI is a bit better today (oh, I know all of you wanted to know that). I can move around a bit more comfortably than I could yesterday, and definitely more than the day before.  Wednesday was the worst day out of all of this, I think.  It was a combination of all the cranberry juice and drugs.  It just hurt! I’m trying not to take my viccodin, like I said yesterday.  I only have like, 9 pills left, and I’m trying to keep them as long as possible in case I need them for something else.  Of course, I could go back to Student Health Services and get more (most likely), but I don’t know if I should.  I usually just go complaining of shoulder pain after it dislocates, and they give me a bottle of stuff. *shrugs*

Sean brought me quesadilla about an hour ago, and it was soooo tasty. For those who know me, you know my favourite food is quesadilla with salsa verde, jalapeños, and guacamole.  Oh god it was tasty.  I’m going to totally regret it in 30 mins or so when it really starts to settle, and my poor tummy finally realises what I did to it.  But it was Qdoba, and I can’t resist!!

We watched some Monk, and some History Channel (it was a few hours about the decline of the Roman Empire, the French defence of Europe against the Muslims, and the conquest of the Vikings in Northern England).  It was interesting.  He’s playing Metal Gear Solid 4 on the PS3, and I know I’ll probably stay online and chat with Ashley for awhile, or take a nap. Summer is such a lazy time of year; I feel like I should be out doing something. Of course, I can’t, and I have to keep reminding myself of that every single day.  Oh well. A nap sounds like a good idea.

Chemo and Infections

I’ve had a fever for over a week, between 100.5 and 101.5, kind of fluctuating between the two. I developed the worst bladder infection this side of the mississippi on Saturdayish, and they still gave me chemo on monday and tuesday, along with lots of antibiotics.  I was in the worst pain of my LIFE on Wednesday, and could barely move.  I went to Safeway with Sean to get some AZO stuff to hopefully make it feel better, some cranberry juice, and some rice and milk.  I threw up in Safeway (into a bag at least, but still).  Well, the cranberry juice made it burn worse, and the AZO didn’t help at all the entire day.  I finally ended up taking viccodin because I couldn’t function.

I found online that you can take 1 teaspoon of baking soda and 8 oz of water, and that should neutralize the acid in the bladder.  So, I’ve done that a few times today (twice, actually), and I’m still taking the AZO, not taking oral meds except for the prednisone and the tetracycline, and I might take some viccodin again if it still hurts as much as yesterday.  I’m NOT doing well.  My fever is gone, but I’m so uncomfortable, and there’s nothing they can really do, so I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.  Not to mention having all of the normal après-chemo side-effects.

I’m just trying to take this one day at a time, but it’s HARD. I hurt everywhere, and it’s hard to walk or stand up straight.  If I didn’t have Sean here to help me, I really don’t know what I’d do. At this point, I’m angry at my doctor for giving me chemo because I think it’s doing more harm than good. Bah, it’s all bullshit.